You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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