last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
