i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
How does it feel to date your dad?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
