I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
