I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
