I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
