never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
