i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
