fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
it glows. i had to have it.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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