Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
