so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
