Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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