I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
