you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
