dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
