So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We are two peas in an std pod
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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