Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
