He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
