That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
