Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
