sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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