a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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