If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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