She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she told me i tasted like america
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
