Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
