I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Every concussion has its silver lining
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
