I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
