Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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