My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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