My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize