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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  ...welcome to nebraska

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  did you know it's going to storm tonight?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.

  (1-832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Totally acceptable.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  This is a rough morning for me

  (577): View more from

  No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.

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• (310): View more from California

  He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  I'm coming right back.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.

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• (510): View more from California

  You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.

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• (516): View more from New York

  should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?

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