If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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