The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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