is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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