Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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