So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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