one two three fourrrrnication!
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
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