Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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