She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize