Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
