went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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