I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
