the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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