Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
