I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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