we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We need a shit load of segways right now
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
