Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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