Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize