I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
i now understand why vodka
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
