i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
