1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Got a toothbrush?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
