hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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