After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
