So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
it's like iHOP with fire
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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