I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Randomize
