If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Are my feet made of real feet?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
