Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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