I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
