i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
