Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
