Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
