I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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