I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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