he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize