One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize