I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
