Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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