its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i dont even know how to be here
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
