she woke up with a sticky ear
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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