you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
